An Ex-FBI Agent Explains How to Recognize the Power Dynamics in a Room
By Stephanie Vozza for Fast Company
You’ve decided to ask for a raise. Should you go into your boss’s office first thing in the morning to get it out of the way? Or wait until the afternoon? Wait until tomorrow? Your chances of success will depend on your ability to read the room.
Paying attention to the narrative—spoken and unspoken—can provide information that gives you an advantage in essential negotiations, as well as during a job interview and any other critical meeting, according to Adele Gambardella and Chip Massey, coauthors of Convince Me: High-Stakes Negotiation Tactics to Get Results in Any Business Situation.
The key is forensic listening, which is different from active listening. “Forensic listening is the art of finding and listening to clues,” says Massey, a former FBI hostage negotiator. “It’s when and how people pause, what they emphasize, and what the tone of their voice communicates. By deconstructing these aspects, you can reveal a hidden narrative others may have missed.”
FORENSIC LISTENING IN ACTION
Massey recounts a negotiation he facilitated with an enforcer of a drug cartel who was in federal prison. “He had eight murders that were associated with him, so he wasn’t getting out,” Massey recalls. “We knew he had information on a rival cartel that would help us work a large case against them. We went in and had some ideas. These guys are very transactional. It’s all about what we’re going to do for them.”
Massey offered to improve the man’s cell condition, with no reaction. He offered to move him to a new prison system, closer to his family. The man just stared into the distance. Finally, Massey realized the unstated narrative. Standing up as if to leave, Massey told him, “Obviously, this was a waste of our time. You have no real interest in sharing information. But listen, I just wanted to say one thing. The way you moved in this organization, the things you did, while I can’t condone any of it, from an absolute practical business perspective, I have to say, ‘respect.’”
The man looked Massey in the eye and started offering information. “I figured out that he wasn’t interested in anything I had to offer,” Massey says. “What he wanted was to be recognized as an expert in this area. Once I found the unstated narrative, we were off to the races.”
HOW TO LISTEN FORENSICALLY
When you pay attention, you can read a room and catch the things that are important to others. Gambardella and Massey share their forensic note-taking processes, which break up conversations and behaviors into four quadrants.
For more, click here.